


A happy crab

by NosferatuInAMustache



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Gen, baby scout, origin of the crab taunt, spy being a silly goose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-27
Updated: 2015-08-27
Packaged: 2018-04-17 12:07:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4665966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NosferatuInAMustache/pseuds/NosferatuInAMustache
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The origin of the Spycrab</p>
            </blockquote>





	A happy crab

Spy's fingers clenched around the silver edges of his cigarette case as he flicked it open, closed it and flicked it open again.  
It was a nervous habit he had evolved over the years, he just couldn't remember when.  
His other hand was firmly placed in his right pocket, feeling the comforting edges of the folded butterfly knife as he stared down at the still form.  
If he hadn't been watching so intently for the past fifteen minutes, he would have been sure it was dead.  
He gave the weapon one last caress before retrieving his hand. This was no place for sharp objects.  
  
A nervous shiver went down his spine and he knew he was being watched, observed and examined curiously.  
Suddenly ducking down behind the nearest object for cover. His heart was suddenly pounding in his chest.  
Years of training in the field had not prepared him for this.  
Raising his left arm that still clutched the silver case, he raised it up to get a better view from its reflection before flicking it open and closed in rapid succsession resulting in a loud clicking noise.  
Carefully, he peaked over the edge of the furniture he had taken cover behind. When he found that he had the upper hand, he poked his head up, a determined look on his face akin to a threatening glare.   
He grabbed at a corner for levrage as he slowly hoisted himself up, looking menancing as he did, cigarette case still opening and closing rapidly in his hand.   
  
"Mon dieu!" he exclaimed "here comes the evil crab who likes to eat little bunnies"   
Leaning over the crib, a delighted squeal was heard from the little boy within as he tried to catch the source of the clicks with his discordinated, little hands.  
Spy smiled as he leaned in and moved his hand in a swift, graceful gesture the pinched the boy's nose and exclaimed triumphantly.  
"Oh non! The evil crab got your little nose"  
  
The boy laughed excitedly, trying to grab at whatever he could get hold of of his evil assailant, but Spy was quicker, dodging and circling around the crib with his new trophy "nose" firmly in hand.  
Spy quite enjoyed himself and found himself laughing so hard he sat snorting on the floor for a good three minutes while trying to keep the limp, unlit cigarette between his lips. 

 

Straightening up, he looked at the boy in between the bars on the crib, with his wide grin, neatly combed hair and blue t-shirt before hiding his face behind his hands.  
He heard his audience make a noise in confused protest and tried to hold in a chuckle himself as he allowed some suspence to build.  
  
Quickly removing his hands he happily prompted "Peak-a-boo".  
  
  
"Keep doing dat an' he'll laugh himself silly"  
  
Spy looked over his shoulder to see the boy's mother in the doorway, with her hands crossed over her chest as she looked at them play.  
  
"Oh non! We are just having a bit of fun, aren't we, little bunny?" Spy said, as he returned the nose he had stolen back on the boy's face. Something he seemed quite happy with.   
  
Before he could even register the clicking of heels, she picked her son up from the crib "he ain't a bunny, he's a boy"  
  
Spy frowned as he got up from the floor and dusted himself off as he watched disappointed as Jeanette left the room with her son on her arm.  
  
Straightening his tie, he slowly followed, deep in thought before finding himself in the kitchen where Jeanette sat down and tried to feed the toddler who would not sit still and seemed more interested in Spy than his food.  
  
"Scout, darlin'! Time to eat"  
  
Spy pulled one of the chairs out from under the table and sat down quietly, propping his chin up into his hands as he watched the two of them curiously.  
When he looked at the boy, he saw something familiar he could not quite place. Except for the obvious fact that the boy looked quite a bit like his mother.   
Except for the big ears and the shape of his chin.  
Spy's eyes widened as a possibility dawned on him.   
Could it really be?  
  
"Mon chéri, if I didn't know any better I would think he was mine, non?" Spy said questioningly.  
  
Jeanette got a look on her face and almost lost the spoon she was holding, but quickly composed herself as if the question didn't even phase her.  
  
"He ain't" why did she sound nervous all of a sudden?  


"Then who's is he?"  
  
Spy detected a split second of hesitation before she blurted out "the postman's"  
His eyebrows shot up.  
The postman? He knew could be frisky, but the postman?  
Also, he failed to see the resemblance since last he had remembered seeing the postman in the area, it was a red haired, pale man covered in freckles.   
  
"Right" she was definately hiding something.  
  
"Would ya stop the interrigation now?" she almost snapped at him "I'm tryin' to feed my son"  
  
  
**************  
  
It should have been nothing but a distant memory by now, since it had been 20 years since it had occured.  
But it was still as clear as if it had just happened a few hours ago.  
It might have something to do with the handwritten letter and photographs that lay scattered across his desk, freshly opened from it's envelope.   
They told a different story all on their own.   
  
Sighing, he grabbed his red balaclava and pulled it down over his face, looked in the mirror, straightened his tie before grabbing his gun.  
  
He  _did_ have a son.  
  
And it was the BLU Scout.  
  
  


  


**Author's Note:**

> I was going to write something sickeningly cute, but I failed. Oh how I failed.  
> Sorry for any erros, I edited it, I swear.  
> Me and a friend of mine discussed where the origin of the crab taunt might have come from, and this appeared.
> 
> And it isn't intentional that Scout's mother is a "villian".  
> Her reasons for lying is that she thinks Spy wouldn't be a good father figure, and she takes a lot of pride having raised 8 strapping boys on her own, and she would also get a conflict with her other sons. So therefor it was very "hush hush".
> 
> Anyway, thank you for reading :)


End file.
